I posted this reply to someone's request for funny European travel stories.

If you want some laughs, here is my short answer:

(It's all true!)(I added some photos of us around the world)

Jesus, I lived in Germany for 7 years. Never a dull moment!

Never ever travel by rail or join a tour if you are disabled. You'll be left behind stuck in a cobblestone rut in Paris on New Year's Eve, have your cruise ship pack up to leave without you cause you were left behind with crutches in Russia... Never EVER travel by rail, especially regional tail if you can't jump on and off trains with no steps, let alone a lift for a wheel chair at the train station. At one stop, I had 30 seconds to literally throw my wheel chair out the door of a train that was still moving with its doors open, then me and my husband leaped out after it and did a tuck and roll into the snow and mud covered street. I have many tales of public trans. We elected to drive or fly later on.

Then there is flying in the EU, the cheapest and safest method btw. Well, they don't have planes parked by passenger gangways, not even in a big airport like Frankfurt. You gotta get your disabled chair ridden ass into a school type bus with no lift, drive to your plane, then sit in the freezing rain while they look for two strong men to carry you up the stairs in the rain and not slip and drop you. If you bitch loudly enough, you might be able to hitch a ride with the food trolley on a rickety old box lift. If super lucky, they'll drive your box lift back to the airport with you on it, on your way home. I believe this only happens if you show a lot of cleavage...

Upon arrival in whatever country, I got to cry tears as I saw my only wheel chair being taken off the plane twisted into a pretzel, our tour of Egyptian tombs ruined or made extremely challenging. (10 yrs later, I'm still struck with my twisted chair and a handle in my back) More the odds your baggage will be destroyed or 50% of the time it doesn't arrive at all. In Scotland on a riding trek, the airport guy with our suitcases had to meet our horses at a B&B, he had to truly hunt is down. Then there is Christmas is Catholic Malta. The ENTIRE plane arrived with 0 luggage. Not a single person had a single checked bag. The 20 dollar or so voucher does you NO good in a religious nation that is closed until Jan 2. (No wonder the trip was cheap) We all acquired our luggage a few days before leaving. Don't get me started on road conditions and rules. Get off the moment you see a bus, or get pushed off and squished!

We've been robbed in Czech, and got home with the money I carried in my shoes... We've been accosted by forced car washing or get your car robbed when you park it in Poland (fyi, pay a kid $5 to watch your car, it's worth it) We've had air let put of our tires in France, run out of gas at 3am in France (gas stations open only take EUro bank cards, your Visa is garbage) Luckily a farmer in a bar came out and gave us some diesel from his tractor, in the middle of a snow storm. The look you get entering a local pub at that hour is truly scary.

The there is the experience of doing riding holidays claimed ok for a disabled rider that can ride with no stirrups and need a smooth horse, plus no walking and a place to sleep with no stairs. Never did this happen. From getting put on a show jumper that had been laid up and not ridden or let our side for a year being given to us as a relaxing trail horse to a horse so afraid of people he bolted if someone was hiking near by, to climbing up hotel stairs on my hands and knees to passing a kidney stone on a 10 day trek Across Iceland. My insurance wouldn't pay for a helicopter lift, so a country doc gave me cat antibiotics and I tied myself to my horse for the rest of the trip down from the glacier, blood and piss running down my legs while we "tolted" (in reality it was pacing, more jarring than a trot) 8 hour days with several horse changes and herding our remounts in front, until we reached the other side of the Island. All 7 tours in my years therewere crazy. Egypt was fun, chasing a pot smoking arab on Arab horses across the Arabian desert... I guess bare legs are offensive. Unless you like covers tossed over your legs, or enjoy being a shit and dangle your bare legs out the side of your van, causing panic in your guide as he tries to cover his eyes and drive, whistles, and quite a few accidents... Wear pants. Women are covered as not to temp men to look at them, I was told. (Wow) Maybe all my leg waving was silent revenge for ruining my wheelchair. It's so sad, I'll include a photo! cocktail dresses for tall women

The event of horse shopping in 5 countries while you only speak English and have translation dictionaries (No cell phones invented yet). We tried to call and ask questions first, but didn't get far. We drove hours and days to see some of the most dangerous horses I've ever ridden. I've had to leap off quite a few to save myself from certain death. One was so horrible the trainer was scared to ride and refused. The two horses I did fall for and buy years apart were both drugged. When they wore off, I had a monster or two to train, dangerous crazy horses that were likely off SpAnish kill trucks. One turned out ok. 7 years of searching for that special horse to take home, and I never found one. The adventures looking are endless!

Shit, even daily life in a foreign coutry is chaotic. I'd take it any day over the way we live in the US. You'll never see the world the same way after living with the people of another country. No clutter, no stress, no intolerance, I miss it. I have many more tales, but that's the top of my head short ones.