Update on life. ( This is very hard to open about)
For those of you who don't know, or that I have failed to mention this to, I have been getting headaches and migraines for the past few years of my life.
About a year and a half ago my migraine became so severe that I had a fever of 103 and was taken to the hospital. Once there my fever had gone but I still had to have a cat scan, then I was sent home.
Later that day, my head ache became scarily severe once again and I began throwing up due to the pain. I was taken back into the hospital when they decided to have me do a bunch of tests.
The last test I had to do was a spinal tap. For those of you who don't know what one is, the doctors have you curl in a ball, they numb you and then push a hollow needle into your back so that your spinal fluid can drip out.
Well, I was already in so much pain, the numbing needle did nothing. I laid there screaming and crying, I was in so much pain. I could hardly talk when it was done.
Once sent home I was on bed rest for 2 weeks because I could not move without having sharp pain rush throughout my body. For three weeks after that I could not stand for more than 3 hours without putting too much pressure on my back.
As the months went by my back stayed at a steady pain level, roughly 6 months later I was thrown into a wall which caused more pain.
A couple months later I went with Maddie to go work out and found out I caused too much pain.
In the past 5 months my back pain has became severally worse.
I take meds other wise I cannot walk. I take meds for my head.
Yesterday I found out that I have to start going to physical therapy. I'm getting a MRI of my head. Then I'll be getting one of my back.
If physical therapy doesn't work and dep what they find on the MRI depends on the next step. There is a chance I have a spinal fluid leak, if that's the case I'll have another needle up my back that is supposed to be worse than the first. cocktail party selections in coral
If physical therapy doesn't work I'll have to do injections.
If that doesn't work they may have me do surgery.
And let me tell you. I'm scared. I'm so fucking scared. I hate that I have hardly been able to sleep or walk around this whole week due to how bad my back hurts. I hate that I can't do things I want to do without hurting my back more.
And I'm scared because I feel like all of my friends who used to care beyond words could express won't hardly talk to me without me feeling like a burden.